Wow! I was realzing that I needed an outlet to vent some frustrations, ideas, and so forth and boom! I realized I have a blog that I totally forgot about! Gee I guess life has really just ran the race. 17 month is a REALLY long time to just disappear without staying anything! But since no one really follows my blog it is not sorrow!
If you do care here is a quick recap
-Savannah is going to be 2 in 1 month
-Hubby is suffering from a pain disorder known as RSD/CRPS and will have it for life.
-We gave birth to our Son Isaac Nicolas in August
& Lastly I am going to nursing school
Life as you can tell is too busy!
But, since it is 6:30 in the morning I am exhausted and I need to get ready to go to a funeral, I am dreading going because it is for my best friends mom, and I hate to see her so sad.
But I PROMISE........I'LL BE BACK!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
My Disappearing Act!
I know I haven't blogged in a while, life has taken a front seat lately. Right now is probably the first quiet moment I have had in a long time. I am dealing with so much PPD has really kicked my ass, and I have finally admitted it to myself and others that I need help. My husband got hurt at work and has been out of work, which is a problem and a god send all in one. He has been home to help me, which is not really much because he can do and heavy lifting, but at least he can do what he can. I am lucky to have the support that I have from my friends and family. Granted there is always family drama with others, that will stay nameless.
I am on new medication to help with the bad thoughts I was having, which is helping immensely, and I have started therapy the Dr is wonderful. Today Nico finally gets to see the Dr for his shoulder, thank goodness.
Savannah is doing AMAZING! I cannot believe she is 6 months old now. We have ourselves a little genius in the making. She is eating solid foods now! She wants to eat everything! And I mean everything! She has cut 4 teeth already! And we have more coming. She is starting to crawl, and boy let me tell you she is gonna be trouble. She is going to give her mom and dad a run for their money! She is going to the doctors today, we will get to see her progress and yes more shots!
I can say that looking at her, really makes me feel whole, she makes my world complete! I am so lucky to have her in my life.
I am on new medication to help with the bad thoughts I was having, which is helping immensely, and I have started therapy the Dr is wonderful. Today Nico finally gets to see the Dr for his shoulder, thank goodness.
Savannah is doing AMAZING! I cannot believe she is 6 months old now. We have ourselves a little genius in the making. She is eating solid foods now! She wants to eat everything! And I mean everything! She has cut 4 teeth already! And we have more coming. She is starting to crawl, and boy let me tell you she is gonna be trouble. She is going to give her mom and dad a run for their money! She is going to the doctors today, we will get to see her progress and yes more shots!
I can say that looking at her, really makes me feel whole, she makes my world complete! I am so lucky to have her in my life.
Monday, May 10, 2010
My 1st "Real Mother's Day"
Yesterday was my 1st Real Mother's Day. It was a such a bittersweet day, as it was 2 years ago from the day we lost our first child. So the day start out kind of rough. I was on edge, I kept snapping at Nico. Even though I didn't mean it.
He had given me 2 sweet cards, one from him and one from Savannah. They were both beautiful, he made breakfast, which was nice. I was a little disappointed that he didn't get me a gift, but it was important, I think my emotions got the best of me under the circumstances. We got ready and headed out, we were going to spend the day with my Grandma and my Aunt. On the way he stopped to get a calling card to call him mom in Uruguay, and he came out with a scratch ticket and said "Here is your gift". That just really pissed me off! I am thinking that it was my gift. Wtf! I did win $10.00 though!
We drove the hour to see my family. It do love spending time with my Aunt and Grandmother, so that was worth it, and they LOVE Savannah! They gave me the sweetest gift, it was a bracelet with Mine, Nicos, and Savannah's birthstone in it. Then I turn around an Nico and Savannah are holding a box. I open it and it was so nice, it was a mother and child pendant with Savanna's little blue birthstone. It was perfect! I am so lucky! I didn't expect a gift, but it was thoughtful!
I was able to keep my mind occupied, but I did think of my little Angel and remembered how the Dr told me the baby was no longer alive, and how much I missed him, I know my angel was watching down on us and he always is, and he would have been a year and a half, but instead he will guide his Mommy and Daddy and little sister forever!
Mommy loves you so much!
He had given me 2 sweet cards, one from him and one from Savannah. They were both beautiful, he made breakfast, which was nice. I was a little disappointed that he didn't get me a gift, but it was important, I think my emotions got the best of me under the circumstances. We got ready and headed out, we were going to spend the day with my Grandma and my Aunt. On the way he stopped to get a calling card to call him mom in Uruguay, and he came out with a scratch ticket and said "Here is your gift". That just really pissed me off! I am thinking that it was my gift. Wtf! I did win $10.00 though!
We drove the hour to see my family. It do love spending time with my Aunt and Grandmother, so that was worth it, and they LOVE Savannah! They gave me the sweetest gift, it was a bracelet with Mine, Nicos, and Savannah's birthstone in it. Then I turn around an Nico and Savannah are holding a box. I open it and it was so nice, it was a mother and child pendant with Savanna's little blue birthstone. It was perfect! I am so lucky! I didn't expect a gift, but it was thoughtful!
I was able to keep my mind occupied, but I did think of my little Angel and remembered how the Dr told me the baby was no longer alive, and how much I missed him, I know my angel was watching down on us and he always is, and he would have been a year and a half, but instead he will guide his Mommy and Daddy and little sister forever!
Mommy loves you so much!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Our First BOOM
Well today, Nico went to run to the red box, I was sitting by the computer, Savannah was sleeping right next to me on her boppy. She woke up, so I figured computer time was over. So I got up to get a tissue, all of a sudden I heard......BOOM which was then followed by a huge scream! My little girl rolled off the boppy and on to the floor. OMG I felt horrible, so I has hushing her and kissing her. I felt so bad, I felt like a failure, I cannot believe I let her fall.
She kept crying and crying, I was crushed. I figure to help soothe her, I would give her a binkie, that helped and calmed her down. She nestle her head on my chest and felt so much better. Then all of a sudden, she pulled her binkie out of her mouth, looked me in the eyes and started doing her "Savannah Talk"
I knew then she was all better, that is what she was telling me. But phew....I still feel rotten, that I was stupid enough to leave her there, especially since she is becoming very active and now is rolling from both sides. Silly mommy!
She kept crying and crying, I was crushed. I figure to help soothe her, I would give her a binkie, that helped and calmed her down. She nestle her head on my chest and felt so much better. Then all of a sudden, she pulled her binkie out of her mouth, looked me in the eyes and started doing her "Savannah Talk"
I knew then she was all better, that is what she was telling me. But phew....I still feel rotten, that I was stupid enough to leave her there, especially since she is becoming very active and now is rolling from both sides. Silly mommy!
Friday, May 7, 2010
Feeling Overwhelmed
I don't like complaining about being a SAHM, I feel very lucky that my husband works so hard to allow us to do this. Even though it is tough financially and we have to cut back, but it is the best option for us, as we don't have anyone to watch Savannah for us. My pay would end up going to day care so what is the point.
But, being with her 24 hrs a day is a "full time" job. I don't get paid, but watching her grow is the greatest pay. I do feel like I cannot get anything done in the house, I feel like a failure in that department. Right now Savannah is very demanding and wants all my attention. She isn't sleeping through the night yet, which I don't know why. I have tried everything, so that means I am not sleeping.
I just feel so overwhelmed, I don't know if I am coming or going at some points. I just want an hour to myself to collect my thoughts. I have a lot going on in my family so it weighs on me constantly. That's another blog post in its own. Am I wrong in thinking that I am a bad mother? Am I wrong in thinking that I made the wrong decision? Having a child is the greatest gift, I could ever ask for, but at the same time it is the most work.
As I type Savannah is screaming at the top of her lungs because I am not paying attention to her, so she will shriek until I do, this morning I couldn't even pee because she decided to flip out while I went into the bathroom. I can't even eat anything...speaking of that, I haven't eaten anything all day and its almost 1:30 in the afternoon. Don't even get me going about showering, that is a luxury some days, and doesn't happen until Nico gets home from work, by then I stink like spit up and other lovely smells. Oy!
I must end my rant because if I don't pay attention she will continue flipping out.
But, being with her 24 hrs a day is a "full time" job. I don't get paid, but watching her grow is the greatest pay. I do feel like I cannot get anything done in the house, I feel like a failure in that department. Right now Savannah is very demanding and wants all my attention. She isn't sleeping through the night yet, which I don't know why. I have tried everything, so that means I am not sleeping.
I just feel so overwhelmed, I don't know if I am coming or going at some points. I just want an hour to myself to collect my thoughts. I have a lot going on in my family so it weighs on me constantly. That's another blog post in its own. Am I wrong in thinking that I am a bad mother? Am I wrong in thinking that I made the wrong decision? Having a child is the greatest gift, I could ever ask for, but at the same time it is the most work.
As I type Savannah is screaming at the top of her lungs because I am not paying attention to her, so she will shriek until I do, this morning I couldn't even pee because she decided to flip out while I went into the bathroom. I can't even eat anything...speaking of that, I haven't eaten anything all day and its almost 1:30 in the afternoon. Don't even get me going about showering, that is a luxury some days, and doesn't happen until Nico gets home from work, by then I stink like spit up and other lovely smells. Oy!
I must end my rant because if I don't pay attention she will continue flipping out.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Menu Monday!
I am now rolling out one of my weekly features!
MENU MONDAY!!!!
Here I will give one of my favorite recipes, feel free to try it!
Today's Menu Item:
Crock pot Chili
Brown ground beef in a pan, until fully cooked
In crock pot place chopped peppers, onions, beans, tomato puree, tomato sauce, and seasoning. Once beef is cooked add that to the crock pot. Mix all together!
Cook on low temperature for 5-6 hours stirring occasionally.
Serve with your favorite toppings, and Enjoy!
Easy enough and no mess!
MENU MONDAY!!!!
Here I will give one of my favorite recipes, feel free to try it!
Today's Menu Item:
Crock pot Chili
- 1 lb lean ground beef
- 24oz Tomato puree
- 8oz Tomato sauce
- 1 pepper Finely chopped
- 1/2 onion Finely chopped
- 1 Can Large Red Kidney Beans
- 1 Can small Red Beans
- cayenne pepper (optional) to taste
- red pepper flakes to taste
- 1/2 Package of Taco Seasoning
Brown ground beef in a pan, until fully cooked
In crock pot place chopped peppers, onions, beans, tomato puree, tomato sauce, and seasoning. Once beef is cooked add that to the crock pot. Mix all together!
Cook on low temperature for 5-6 hours stirring occasionally.
Serve with your favorite toppings, and Enjoy!
Easy enough and no mess!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
The Crazy Lady in the Corner is Me..............
Well I am fighting with myself, I swear!!! My rug smells like dog pee, and I cannot get it out! There are a million things on the market that "claim" to get rid of the urine of all animals. Well guess what they are all liars. Everything I have tried doesn't work. After I clean the rug smells so nice I think to myself..."I did it!" then it all dries, and boom, my living room smells again! Why oh why is this happening? Its like the rug is out to get me. The weather is getting warmer and let me tell you the heat does not help it. Nothing like the smell of old dog urine! And guess what.......its not even from my dog!!!!
On top of that the bees are coming out and my apartment is so old that they breed and live on my porch. I trapped one on my screen door the other day and I refused to open it, because I didn't want it coming in my house. The bee was HUGE! He could have eaten us all for lunch! My lovely husband was nice enough to catch him in a juice bottle and put him on the outside stairs to fly away. If it was up to me I would have kill the bugger, but noooooooooo he went on about how the bee was an important part of the earth. To me all I heard was blah, blah, blah.
Everyday that the sun is out the bees are on my porch. If you didn't guess yet, I am petrified of bees they freak me out!!
So between the bees and the smell in my rug, I am going to be in the corner of my house rocking because I am going to go insane about them both.
On top of that the bees are coming out and my apartment is so old that they breed and live on my porch. I trapped one on my screen door the other day and I refused to open it, because I didn't want it coming in my house. The bee was HUGE! He could have eaten us all for lunch! My lovely husband was nice enough to catch him in a juice bottle and put him on the outside stairs to fly away. If it was up to me I would have kill the bugger, but noooooooooo he went on about how the bee was an important part of the earth. To me all I heard was blah, blah, blah.
Everyday that the sun is out the bees are on my porch. If you didn't guess yet, I am petrified of bees they freak me out!!
So between the bees and the smell in my rug, I am going to be in the corner of my house rocking because I am going to go insane about them both.
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